The Conquest By the Sons of Mil

 I guess I fibbed last week – there is one more short story to tell before The Second Battle of Moytura! I actually forgot about this bit until just yesterday, but I think the Sons of Mil are important enough to talk about, right? Decide for yourself, after you’ve read.

 The fourth great invasion of Ireland was made by early Spaniards. While the invasion of the Tuatha De Danann is probably the most important piece for Celtic myths (and the information I am spilling in your brains) the story of the Sons of Mil is the most important for Celtic history, because this was the coming of the Gaels to Ireland, and they’ve been there ever since. Possessing magical qualities themselves, through their druids, this battle against the gods represents man’s plight against the supernatural. Some characters, like Donn, appear throughout the world. For example, there is Donnotaurus (Lordly Bull) in Gaul (Western Europe a long time ago (in a galaxy far, far away…)).

 In other tales Donn features as the god of death, and all who die are invited to his house. Into the story a bit more: Emer, Donn, and Eremon were the sons of Mil from Spain. Their uncle, a man who had awesome powers of learning saw Ireland in a vision and tried traveling there, only to be killed by the Children of Danu. When this news reached the 3 sons of Mil they quickly made a decision. They knew Ireland as a land of good grain and grazing, with  fine honey, plenty of fish in its rivers, lakes and seas, and other olden-days desirables; hell-bent on invasion, they gathered their families and whatnot and set sail.

 Donn as the oldest son was the leader of a whole fleet of 65 boats and 40 chieftains; their spiritual leader was a guy named Amergin, a poet skilled in magic. As the fleet approached Ireland, preparing to land, the Tuatha De used their druidic magic to make the whole country up and disappear. The sailors were speechless, needless to say, seeing only open water where moments before there’d been rocky shores and thick, forested hills – but Amergin realised right away that there were supernatural forces at work. He advised Donn to sail 3 times around where the island should be and when he did it, the spell broke, the coast reappearing as astonishingly as they had vanished, and the sons of Mil landed at Inber Scen on the South-West of Ireland on the Eve of Beltain. (Dramatic much?)

  As they marched their way inland, they in turn met the 3 goddesses of Ireland: Banba, Fodla and Eriu. These 3 ladies were the ancient territory deities and it was very important for this newest set of invaders to cooperate with them. The first 2 listed goddesses would say little but Eriu was bombastic (for lack of a better word) in her praises and let them know their arrival was long prophesied. “You’re welcome to this place, for this is the best island in this world and yours is the most perfect race – you’re destined to rule here forever!”

  “If that’s true,” says Donn, “It’ll be due not to help from you but to the power of our gods and our men.” (Sh*t has now hit the fan.) Angry at this cocky answer, Eriu then foretold that Donn and his descendants would never rule Ireland and that his whole line would be cursed forever! Leaving Eriu (I’d say that’s a smart idea, I mean, Donn being all rude and stuff didn’t exactly help them on their journey,) the Sons of Mil went to Tara, the seat of kings and the head sanctuary of Ireland. There they found the husbands of the 3 goddesses, the 3 kings of the Tuatha De Danann: Mac Cuill (Son of Hazel) Mac Cecht (Son of Plough) and Mac Greine (Son of Sun).

 (Sidenote: Do not ask me how to pronounce any of those names. I may know the stories, but some Irish pronunciations are a mystery to me.)

 These three sneered at the Sons of Mil for trying to ambush freaking Ireland, for they considered this act dishonourable. They gave the foreigners the ultimatum of either leaving the country, submitting to the Children of Danu, or battling it out. Donn was itching for a fight, but Amergin stepped in on this matter. “Let them keep the land until we come back a 2nd time to take it openly,” he said.

  “Where’ll we go, then?” asked Donn.

  “Out beyond the 9th wave,” replied Amergin, making sure to speak in magical druid terms.

  “If you’ll take my advice,” Donn persisted, “it’ll be war.” But the Sons of Mil obeyed Amergin and set sail again until they were 9 waves away from land.

 “Now,” say the Tuatha De, “We must make sure that they never get back to Ireland.” Using their powers, they called up winds and a storm. The huge waves were so violent that even the sand from the sea bed was churned all the way to the top of the waves, and there was confusion and fright among the sailors as their ships were driven hopelessly westwise out in the sea.

 “This is no natural storm, but a druid’s wind!” cried Donn over the sound of the sea.

 “We can’t be certain until we know how high in the sky it blows,” replied Amergin. If it blows no higher than our masts, it’s druid’s work.” 1 of the men climbed upon the swaying mast and reached his hand into the air up above; it was calm but as he leaned down to yell to the men below a sudden blow of wind tore him off the mast and he then fell to his death on the deck beneath. Then Amergin stood up and chanted a magic poem to mollify Eriu the goddess who Donn had offended and immediately a great calm took place instead of the storm. Donn, however, was still filled with pride.

 “If only I could get ashore, I would put all the warriors of Ireland to the spear,” he declared and this arrogance to Amergin ended up sealing his fate. Once more the storm howled around them and the waves were at least as wild as before. In all the noise and confusion of the raging sea, Donn’s boat parted from the others and, as Donn defied the elements with his sword, wrecked off the South-West coast. Donn and his men drowned. The rest of the fleet was divided under the commands of Emer and Eremon, the 2 other bros, and landed once again on the shore.

 As Amergin, astoundingly saved from the waves, setting his right foot on the ground, he uttered another of his powerful poems, claiming the land and all that it contained for himself plus the Sons of Mil. The invaders had now outwitted the magic of the Tuatha De Danann, but there were many battles to be fought before they could claim the final victory. Even when the Children of Danu had been defeated in battle, they still retained all their magical powers and skills and they made life so annoyingly difficult for the newest newcomers that eventually a truce was drawn up between the 2 forces. It was then agreed to divide the land between them, the underground territory distributed to the Tuatha De and the country above to the Sons of Mil. As a result, the Tuatha De Danann lived underground.

The Dagda (sorry, didn’t mention him before) gave a sidh (fairy mound) to each of the chieftains and forever afterwards these little mounds were the dwellings of the fairy-folk of Ireland. And that was the agreement of the Tuatha De Danann and the Gaels.

Next up: The Second Battle of Moytura.

The Conquest by the Gods

 I couldn’t post anything yesterday ’cause my computer kept CRASHING AAAAAHH but I have this for you today!

 So I’ll jump right in.

 The 3rd group that invaded Ireland was probs the most mysterious of all. According to Celtic tradition, the Tuatha De Danann, (The Children of Danu,) are the Irish gods, although earlier invaders clearly had divine characteristics. It’s the Tuatha De who’re remembered today as the gods and their deeds are commemorated – there’s little doubt that they’re the old gods of the Celtics and that their stories reflect the beliefs of the ancient Irish and of a part of pre-historic Europe. The Children of Danu were direct descendants of Nemed who’d left Ireland with his family and settled in the North islands of Greece. There, his people had grown, and it was there that they learned the arts of druidism, in which they became very skilled.

 They fought on the Athenian side against the Philistines, using their druidic arts to gain victory for Athens. Eventually the Philistines became so dangerous that the Tuatha De Danann had to flee Greece and find another land. Like their ancestors, they sailed west, taking with them their treasured possessions. There were 4 sacred objects among these which appear throughout Celtic myths; the Lia Fail, the Invincible Spear of Lugh, and the Ever-plentiful Cauldron of the Dagda, the father-god of Ireland. First they took refuge in Scotland but the country was bleak so soon the Tuatha De decided to attack Ireland, which they believed belonged to them.

 This army of gods landed on the Irish shores in secret on the festival of Beltain (May 1st) the most sacred of all Celtic feasts. When everyone had arrived they burned all the boats so they couldn’t run away if the Fir Bolg, who are ruling Ireland, should prove formidable. Then they conjured up magical darkness all around them to help everyone move about unperceived and, at Connacht, they surprised the Fir Bolg. Fierce battles were fought before the Fir Bolg admitted defeat. Those that weren’t killed fled to islands around the coast and there they lived.

 The troubles of the Children of Danu weren’t over, though, for the Fomorians ranged their forces against them and until after the battle known as the Second Battle of Moytura that they were overcome. (I’ll introduce that part next time.) The story of that encounter of good and bad is told later.

The Conquest By the Fir Bolg

Whoopsies!

  I have been SLAMMED DOWN TO THE BOTTOMLESS PITS OF HECK by school. I would have posted this yesterday ’cause I like the Thursday thing that I have going, but with three almost-not-F’s, well, you know. I’ve gotta graduate.

 This one I’ve got for you tonight is a pretty short story, but it builds on last week’s Part 1 pretty well.

 A second invasion of Western Europe was by a people called the Fir Bolg. They were descended from the Children of Nemed (refer to last week if you don’t know who Nemed is,) who had returned to settle in Greece, and in time grew into a powerful tribe again. As they grew stronger, the Scythian Greeks became afraid of them and made them slaves to keep them under their control. The Fir Bolg were forced to turn tough, stony places into plains covered in clover bringing soil from far away so plants could grow. It was grueling work which broke their spirits and exhausted them.

 Finally, they held a council. They sewed coracles (weird round boats) out of skins, making them seaworthy with the sacks they used for soil. Then they set out for Ireland, their homeland. When they arrived in Ireland, they divided the country into 5 provinces. The Fir Bolg were the 1st invaders to establish a social order in the land.

 They also introduced kingship, the custom of obeying the rule of a King who they would consider as half-divine, instead of the past warlords, and they prospered in Ireland.

Do You Have Anything Else?

Seriously.

What else do you have going on?

Anything else to say?

YOU GOTTA HAVE SOMETHING AHHHHH

Lots of screams.

The Heart (is empty)

I just can’t find any inspiration for this post!

Sadly this’ll be a short post.

Eh.

I can never say I put my heart into my blog, but really… my mind does turn to it quite a bit, though.

A lot of the time I think about this place with 16 people who (sometimes) look at my posts.

No matter if I’m eating at Tucano’s tonight or eating a bag of chips, this is still a place with people I try to communicate with without specifically talking to them, put things out there to help myself and probably eventually others.

Sometimes all us humans want to do is have an impact on people.

There’s probably more to say, but I’m distracted by Key & Peele.

The Arrival of the Gods

 This is the first part of a Celtic book, The Book of Invasions. It was compiled by Irish scholars in the 1100’s. It’s a work of great importance where both real history and awesome myths are embedded. The entire text begins with the arrival of Partholon, along with his people after The Flood, though there isn’t a lot of background on that bit. It begins with the conquest of Nemed, a Scythian Greek.

 The Scythians were nomads, who lived 500 miles north of Greece, near the borders of the Caspian Sea. They were close (culturally) with the Celts, especially in their art, with the custom of tatooing in their random domestic arrangements. Their contact with the Graeco-Celts must have been very similar, because the Book uses the term “Scythian” and “Greek” interchangeably. Taken as a historical document, The Book of Invasions is pretty much worthless, but as a source for mythology, it is a treasure trove. The stories of the four original invasions were most likely passed down by word of mouth for many generations, before they were written down – although they may record memory of actual events, the characters and such have become so transformed that men, gods, and monsters mingle.

 The men who finally wrote them down thought that they were writing truth; they were actually producing more than just that, a record of the earliest myths of the Irish Celts and an insight into the beliefs of the old Celtic people. All action in the book leads up to the final invasion by the Gaels that are destined through divine intervention to have Ireland in their possession forever after. The first invasion of Ireland is known as The Conquest of Nemed. It takes place in a time before Ireland had settled in a permanent form when it was a wild, dangerous place, ravaged by illness and inhabited only by a tribe of monsters, the Fomorians. The Fomorians, who always appear as sinister people figure largely in this book.

 Their name includes both the Celtic words for “under” and “sea” so often it is translated as “those who lived under the sea”. It was said that Nemed came from Greece a long time ago, making the deadly journey westward to find a new home for his subjects. A plague had left Ireland empty for about 30 years before Nemed and his followers arrived. They set sail in a fleet of 34 boats with 30 or so people in each boat. (Sensing the favouring of the 30’s yet?)

 The sea was calm and all went well until they saw a gold tower jutting out of the water by them. Its smooth walls glistened in the sea mist and its top was so tall that it was lost in the clouds. Hoping to find some treasure, the fleet rowed towards it but surrounding the tower surged treacherous currents which capsized many ships and drove others away onto jagged rocks. Only Nemed’s boat survived and almost everybody traveling with him drowned. But Nemed, his children and the few other people he could rescue from the waves were saved.

 The survivors sailed away from the mysterious tower and got to the shores of Ireland. Here they settled, but their troubles weren’t over: 12 days after they landed, Nemed’s wife, Macha, was the first to die there when she was victimised by the plague that had ravaged the land. Overseas to the North of Ireland lived the Fomorians. They were anxious to settle Ireland, but Nemed and his men were too strong and set them to work as slaves. Their labours did change the face of the country; they built 2 royal forts and carved out 12 plains from the forested land (noticing the use of 12, too?)

 Besides this, the landscape was still changing because of natural causes and it was during Nemed’s time that 4 mighty rainstorms formed the 4 great lakes the Irish still recognise today. While Nemed was alive, he was able to control the sullen Fomorians, although he lost many of the battles he fought purely to subdue them, but eventually he too became sick and died. Now, the Fomorians saw their chance to defeat the Children of Nemed and without Nemed to lead, they soon were overcome. The Fomorians were cruel lords. Every year at the festival of Samain (Halloween) they made the Children of Nemed to give them 2/3 of their corn, milk produce, and new-borns… a terrible tax.

 The Children of Nemed were enraged by this toll and planned to get the better of their oppressors. They sent for foreign soldiers, even strangers to enlist their aid, and they also dispatched messengers to their kin in Greece asking for help. A big company set off for Ireland, a company that included many druids/druidesses as well as the best warriors. They brought with them vicious animals like wolves and venomous hogs. The fleet set anchor at the place where King Conann of the Fomorians, who lived in a tower of glass and laid siege to it so as to force King Conann to battle with the mighty army.

 First the druids of each army competed, employing all their powers of enchantment. However, for every spell there was a counter and neither side could gain an advantage. Next the warriors of each side fought a bitter battle. Both armies lost many men but finally the Children of Nemed were victorious. Conann was still safe in his tower, though, so the Children let loose the wolves and pigs they had brought along.

 Most people who were inside flee from this attack but Conann refused to leave. Finally Fergus, the son of Nemed,challenged Conann to meet him in single combatand after a fierce fight Conann was killed. However, the struggle wasn’t over yet, for a new contingent of vengeful Fomorians arrived. Nemed’s Children were waiting for them; once again fierce fights broke out. They were so carried away by the heat and the fury of the battle that nobody observed a huge wave raced toward them.

 Higher than the tower and faster than a hawk, its huge form was accompanied by a roar as if from a gigantic beast from the sea. As it crashed on the beach, it broke over the people fighting, overwhelming them all so that only 30 of the Children of Nemed and a boat-full of Fomorians lived. After the disaster, the Children of Nemed were never able to settle again. They lived constantly in fear of the Fomorians and of the plague, and they argued amongst themselves always. Eventually they went away, some back to Greece, others making their home in Britain; Ireland was now left uninhabited except for the Fomorians for 200-some-odd-years.

So that is part one… honestly it really isn’t my favourite story at all, and I even debated skipping it, but didn’t want to make the background longer for part 2 – for the next three Thursdays, I’ll complete this story. Yaaaaay.

Abstraction

Imagine either Scotty from Star Trek or a pleasant British woman reading this to you.

There are a lot of abstract ideas out there.

Freedom, Good, Evil, Love, Feminism, Success, Morality.

There are also concrete ideas.

Spoons, Table, Eye Patch, Nose, Hot, Walk.

For example: I can’t pick up a democracy, or point to a small responsibility crawling past the window; but I can measure the weight of sand and the volume of milk. I can’t collect a pound of moral outrage, or a liter of freedom.

There are general terms….

Furniture is a good word to explain it with.

If I tell you to think of a furniture, well, that’s not really grammatically correct – furniture is a grouping of items.

A chair is more specific, but it is still a group – how do you know what I mean?

But I can go on to say to draw up a LaZ-boy recliner, and you will know what to draw if you have seen one before.

So now I feel like a teacher.

Wow.

The Coming of Darkness

 There is a story told by the Kono people of Sierra Leone (in West Africa) that says when God first made the world it was never really dark or cold. The sun shone during the day and at night the moon gave off a twilight in which everything could be seen quite clearly. But one day God called up the Bat and gave him a basket to bring to the Moon. In the basket was Darkness, but God didn’t say what the Moon was supposed to do with it, though he did promise to go and explain later on. The Bat flew away with the basket and set course for the Moon.

 On the way, he got tired and had to put down the basket for a rest, and went off to get food. While he was gone some animals found the basket and started opening it, hoping there was food in it. Just as soon as they took the cover off the Bat came back, but Darkness had already escaped. Ever since then the Bat sleeps all day, but in the twilight he begins to fly around everywhere, trying to catch the Darkness, get it back in the basket, and take it to the Moon just like God commanded. But the Bat never succeeds in catching Darkness, even though he chases it in every direction, and soon daylight returns and the Bat has to sleep.

That was a much shorter story! I wish there was more detail and intensity with it, but it’s still a cool creation myth, especially since most start out with darkness and light is added into the equation.

I Suck

At homework. I suck at homework.

I guess I’ll just reveal myself, cause I totally didn’t do that yet.

First I’ll give myself an interview for you – I wish I could’ve done that on video, but whatevs.

1. What was the last picture I took on my phone?

Do I know any big gossip?

No.

Have I ever been pulled over by a cop?

DO I LOOK LIKE THE KIND OF PERSON – Oh wait you haven’t seen my face yet.

Do I know my heritage?

Oh yeah baby. British, French, and Danish royalty all the way. All the way back in the 1500’s. I’m the whitest American out there.

What have you always wanted? Have you obtained it?

I just wanted the love and approval of oth – nope. I just want to own a capybara one day.

What kind of sickness have you lied about to avoid going to work?

Dudes, I love my non-existent job. I just sit alone all day and go to school to one day get a job that is worthwhile.

What was the last lie you told?

That I’m working hard at school.

Have you ever danced in the rain?

Nooooo.

What is your blood type?

I learned it once in fifth grade, but now I can’t remember.

Have you ever been in a car accident?

Nothing life threatening. Hear that? I think that’s an accomplishment ringing in the distance.

What was the weirdest prank call you ever made?

Ah, I wish I still had the audio! In eighth grade me and my friends tried prank calling another friend with the same exact script as the billy goat prank call video (If you’ve ever seen it) Needless to say, we stunk and it was stupid.

Best compliment you have ever received?

Well, okay, taking out all the millions of ones I get from my parents and people who don’t actually know me personally, I have been told that I am “The cutest bean”.

Would you trust anyone with your life?

As long as you are not actively threatening my life and/or will not be in the future, I trust you with it.

What is your greatest strength or weakness?

Being stupid. Also, being stupid.

What is your perfect pizza?

Pizza.

What was your first thought as you woke up today?

Another ******’ school day. For hell’s sake.

Do you get along with your family? Why or why not?

We get along as well as a banana in it’s peel.

Ugly and live forever, or attractive and die in a year?

Attractive and die in a year, sure. I don’t want to live forever.

You discover that your one-year-old child is actually somebody else’s child, and it was just a switch-up in the hospital, would you trade it back or keep it?

If y’all wanna know me… I’m not getting my kid out of a hospital. If I ever have a kid it will not ever be a production of my loins. It will be adopted.

Would you be willing to lie in court for your friend so they wouldn’t go to jail for the rest of their life?

Pardon my Albanian, but HELL NAW

Would you be willing to eat a bowl of crickets for $45,000?

I did say that stupidity was my weakness AND my strength.

If you could have anybody locked in a room and tormented by you, who would you choose and how would you torment them?

Hey guys, I’m not that salty! Karma will do that for me. But on a side not… Hilary Clinton.

Do you feel that children should be sheltered from unhappiness?

Honestly, I want to say yes, cause even small things have actually caused me to seek trauma help from my therapist, but no, cause the world isn’t nice to nice people.

If you could personally witness anything, what would you witness?

God explaining to Jesus what an imperfect person is.

If you could wake up in the body of somebody else , who would it be and what would you do.

Jesus is my helmet.

Here is a picture of me from a couple months ago. But my hair grows too quickly and I go through this vicious cycle of growing out my hair and then shaving it down.

Masen Brandon

Also, I am a crazy clown.

Also, I’m a trans-dude. Deal with it.

Mulien Rescues His Mother

This will actually be a pretty long story, so hopefully y’all are ready. I’ll be doing a bunch of background, too.

  The Chinese Buddhist concept of the Underworld is bound up with the idea that the soul passes through stages. The Underworld represented a phase during which the soul would be punished for its sins, and purified for the next phase in its journey towards Western Paradise. The ruler of the Underworld was Yama, a god, and the Underworld – “Hell” – lay deep beneath the surface of the Earth. People based their idea of the Underworld on the Chinese system of justice. There were 10 panels of judges, and up to 100 levels of Hell, with appropriate punishments for sinners.

 The guards who fetched men from the living, and who attended the judges were very frightening creatures. Some were spectres with human arms but with the heads of horses, and there were devils with various kinds of heads and red hair, an unknown hair colour to the Chinese. Everyone had to pass through the Underworld, but there were ways to make the passage less painful. Relatives of the dead would try to make amends for the sins of their family members by saying prayers on their behalf. In this way, the soul’s suffering could be eased.

 The following story shows how 1 man saved his mother by holiness.

 There was a rich man who, as a disciple of Buddha, lived in a pure way, was kind to men, and refused to eat meat. His family lived in the same way, and they were happy. The man died at a ripe old age, and he was transported by cranes to Paradise, where he would spend eternity living in bliss. After his father’s death, the son Lobu, was called away to a foreign land on business, and before he left he gave part of his inheritance to his mother, telling her to use it when needy monks came to the door. Without the encouragement of her husband or son, the mom (her name was Chingti), began to stray from the strict discipline of a Buddhist life.

 She began to eat meat, and ate all kinds of animals. She showed no hospitality to monks who came to her door, even giving one starving monk scraps containing meat, so the unfortunate man committed a heinous act without knowing it. She simply drove other monks from her door, keeping her son’s money. When Lobu returned he asked his mother if she had used the money as he had wanted, and she told him she had, this adding another sin on top of all the others. Not long after she died and was sent to the Underworld.

 She was put in the Avici, the worst Hell. After mourning her death, Lobu left home to become a monk, which he had not done before, for he felt he had owed his parents. Now that they were both dead, he felt he should pursue his calling. When he was accepted as a monk, he shaved his head, put on a cassock, and was given the name Mulien. He soon became so wise that he was one of the best of Buddha’s disciples.

 One of his achievements was the ability to move through all levels of existence: Earth, Heaven, Paradise, and the Underworld. When he first had command of his skill, he traveled to the Western Paradise to converse with his father, who was pleased to see him, but he was unable to find his mother. He was sad at this and asked Buddha where his mother was. “Your mother has fallen into the Avici and is suffering for her sins. Although you have reached a high level of piety, there is nothing you can do to save her, unless all the monks in the world one day sing prayers foe her and thereby gain her release.”

 This news came as a shock to Mulien, who decided that he must rescue his mother. He used his power to descend to the Underworld, and the first people he saw was a group wandering about with nothing to do. Mulien asked them if they had seen Chingti. The people said they hadn’t seen her, and gave an account of their own predicament. “We are the victims of a mistake.”

 “We were on Earth and not due for death, but because our names are the same as some in the Book of the Dead, we were brought down here, though we can’t be admitted to the Underworld. Our bodies have already been buried, so we can’t return, either. That is why we wander as lost souls. Relatives mourn us, but that does us no good. The only thing that might help is if they were to do good deeds in our names.”

 The lost ones continued their lamenting, and directed Mulien to the Court of King Yama. He went through the gates  to the kingdom of Yama, thronged with people.  He searched, but unable to find his mother, he shed tears. Seeing this, the attendants at the gates led him to King Yama himself, who rose with great respect. “What brings a pious man like yourself to this place; what do you wish?”

 “I seek my mother,” replied Mulien. ” sought her in the Western Paradise, but now I must find her here. Do you know of her?” Yama didn’t know where she was, but he called his subordinates before him to ask if they knew. They told Mulien that his mother had committed sins on Earth and the her records had been sent to the General of the Five Ways.

 Mulien set off again. He hadn’t gone far when he met the River of No Hope, where souls were trying to cross but were being driven out by demons with animal heads. Some people had taken off clothes so as to swim across, but they weren’t allowed, and were herded back. The weeping filled Mulien with pity, and he hurried on whilst crying. Finally he arrived at the office of the General, the fiercest of all judges.

 In reply to Mulien’s questions, the General sent for his helpers, and 1 officer said, “There was a woman of that type 3 years ago, and she was claimed by the Avici. I suspect that is where she is.”

 Mulien asked, “How is it that King Yama doesn’t know my mother’s fate, but everyone must report to him?”

 “That isn’t so,” replied the General. “All those who die are divided into good and evil. The good ascend up to Heaven, and the evil go to their punishment. Only people who are neither good nor evil go before Yama, and he decides what form of punishment they deserve and how they will be reborn.” Mulien left the General and went away to the terrible Avici Hell.

 He passed many levels on the way, each being different. At each 1 he asked for his mother, and as he drew nearer to the Avici, he could see scores of demons. “Don’t enter here,” they warned. “A foul fog rises from this Hell that turns your flesh to ashes.” At this, Mulien rose from the Underworld and made his way to Buddha, asking to borrow his staff to protect himself.

 He returned to Hell, where there were flames everywhere and arrows flying about in strong winds. Using Buddha’s staff, Mulien beat upon the doors and they opened. The custodian of the doors asked what he wanted, and when Mulien asked for his mother,the custodian climbed to a tall tower, and hoisted a white flag. “Is there a woman called Chingti?” he shouted.

 There was no reply, so he went to the next tower, hoisted a black flag, and beat a drum. He carried on this way until he came to the 7th compound, where he hoisted a green flag and yelled, “Is there a woman called Chingti here?” This time she was there, suffering on a bed of nails, but she didn’t reply. The custodian beat his drum and asked a second time, and she replied, “I am she.”

 “Why didn’t you answer before?” asked the custodian.

 “I was afraid,” said Chingti. “I thought you might take me somewhere worse.”

 “Outside my door,” said the custodian, “Is a monk who says he is your son.”

 For a while Chingti was silent but finally said, “I have no son who’s a monk, it’s a mistake.” The custodian went back to Mulien.

 “Monk, why are you claiming this woman as your mother?”

 “I’ll explain,” said Mulien. “My old name was Lobu and only after my parents died I became a monk.” When Chingti heard of this, she knew that this must indeed be her son. Mulien was horrified by her. She had wounds all over, flames were sprouting out her mouth, and she looked starved.

 He first thought to ask, “Didn’t you receive the offerings of food that I sacrificed?”

 To this she replied, “How could they reach me? You may have gained satisfaction by making offerings, but they did no good. It might’ve helped if you copied sutras in my name.” The custodian came to take her away and though Mulien offered to suffer in her place, this wasn’t allowed and he had to leave.

 Mulien then went to Buddha, and out of respect, Buddha went to the Underworld, where his radiance dispelled the gloom. Other souls were released, but unfortunately this was too late for Mulien’s mother. She was doomed to walk the Earth as a hungry ghost, with all food instantly turning to ashes as soon as it touched her lips. She begged Mulien for food, as the rules relating to hungry ghosts didn’t apply to food given as alms to a monk. Mulien rushed off with his begging bowl and returned, but this also turned to ashes when she tried to eat.

 He was obliged to go to seek the help of Buddha once more. Buddha repeated what he said to Mulien before. “All the monks must sing prayers for her together,” he said. Mulien set about organizing a festival. On July 15th all the priests joined in prayer at all temples, praying for the dead.

 This union of prayer was particularly helpful for those in Hell, and on that day all ghosts were able to eat 1 meal. Since that time the Yülanpen festival has been held wherever there are Buddhist followers. After she had eaten, Chingti disappeared again. This time Buddha told Mulien, “Through your piety in organizing the festival, your mother has been released. She has been reincarnated, but could rise no higher than the form of a dog.

 “If you wish to see her, go to the city of Wangshe and walk by the doors of the rich men. A dog will come out, and tug at your cassock. That dog will be your mother.” Mulien went to Wangshe and everything happened as Buddha said. The black dog rushed out of a house and took hold of him.

 “My son,” she said. “You saved me from torment. Will you also save me from this dog life?”

 “Mother,” replied Mulien. “It was a lack of piety which caused you to fall to such torment. But compared with your earlier suffering, aren’t you happier now?”

 “It’s true,” replied Chingti. “To hear my master reciting scripture each morning, and never to hear the word ‘Hell’ mentioned, this more than makes up for the impurities of my life.” Mulien led her to the pagoda in the town, and for 7 days he recited scripture without ceasing. In result of this, Chingti was able to leave dog form, hanging the fur on a tree, and resuming the form of a woman. Mulien was overjoyed.

 “Now that you are human once more, I beg you, mom, to make yourself deserving of this reincarnation.”

 Later Mulien took his mother before Buddha and, walking around him 3 times, asked, “Honoured one, please examine my mother’s destiny to see if there remains any sin for which she hasn’t made amends.”

 Buddha did as he was requested and reported that Chingti had paid the penalty of all her sin and they had been expiated by monks at the festical of Yülanpen. So at last, amidst the rejoicing, she was welcomed to the Western Paradise.

 

So that’s the story. Yayyyyy. I actually sort of doubt anybody would read this in one sitting… I typed it over the course of two hours… and spent at least as long writing it on 11 notebook pages…. Wheeeee